Negotiation Skills 101

When attempting to sway another person, the ground you stand on is very shaky until you clearly understand their need.

Easier said than done. Listening is really hard work, mostly because it requires us to not talk for a period of time. It also demands that we set aside our own agenda, at least temporarily.

Information on negotiation skills is profuse. Libraries, book stores, marketers and managers are loaded with good advice. I've soaked up a lot of this knowledge in 24 years of professional experience and would argue with anyone that it boils down to one primary component. Listening.

It's kind of like getting buff physically. We can read about it all day long, research it, talk about it, even join a gym. Unless we're routinely working out and eating healthy we won't get (and stay) in optimal shape. Gotta do the hard work. In negotiating, gotta listen. When we know the other person's pain and needs and they know we know, then we can offer solutions and support. Otherwise we're just babbling. This applies to everyone in our lives...friends, clients, family, strangers, etc. As the saying goes, people don't care what we know until they know how much we care. They'll know we care when we;

• Clearly understand what's important to them, and
• Convey our understanding in a way that's comfortable and inviting for them to receive it.

It's that simple and it's incredibly challenging to master.