What to Gift the Grad...

It's that time of year again. Graduation; from college, high school, middle school, and these days we even celebrate the shift from kindergarten to first grade. A common dilemma during this season becomes "what to get the grad?"

When I graduated from high school my friends were having lavish graduation parties. Not me. My parents bought me a set of luggage (no kidding) and sent me packing for college. I wasn't that disappointed. I remember thinking "What's so huge about graduating from high school? I just did what I was supposed to; go to school for 13 years and get the diploma...no great cause for reward." I didn't feel any different about undergrad college...just doing what I was supposed to. In fact, both times my parents even had to talk me into attending the ceremonies. 

On the other hand, graduate school was a completely different story. I earned my master's degree while working full-time, being a wife, parenting two children (one an infant), and selling and buying a home. Those were four very long years. I was tired most of the time, set aside recreation and, seemingly, my sanity. Graduating, with honors, was probably the greatest hurdle I'd jumped in life. A pole vaulting high jump! So significant, that fourteen years later I can still remember the celebratory gifts I received, and the people who gave them. Other than the green vinyl luggage, I couldn't tell you how I "celebrated" graduating from high school or undergrad college.

Are you gifting from what matters to you, or them? It's all relative. My parents were gifting from what mattered to them.

To help someone celebrate in a way that's meaningful to them, you have to know what they value, and be willing to honor it. It's that simple.
 
If you're not sure, ask. Ask them, or their friends or family. If you don't want to ask, give a card with a heartfelt message and let it go at that. Sincerity is the name of the game. Always.

 

Tweens, Teens and Greatness

Theodore Roosevelt said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Surely our own tweens and teens know how much we love them. So why don't they embrace each and every word we say? We have such valuable wisdom to share! We know them better than anyone else on earth, yet they reject so much of our knowledge, so much of the time.

The truth is, we need our teens working towards independence, making more of their own decisions, and, yes, disagreeing with us. As challenging as that can be, imagine the alternative! By making every choice for them we'd be setting our kids up for failure. Lack of confidence is a rough way to head into adulthood.
It would be nice, however, if our kids could slip from that developmental stage of dependence, to the glories of independence a whole lot quicker, like between age 17 years, 364 days and age 18!

Teens navigate these challenging years more successfully when they have a trusted adult, other than a parent or teacher, to help support them. A life coach can be that person. A grandparent or trusted neighbor can be that person. Someone to offer the encouragement and guidance that a parent can, but without being another authority figure in their life. As in a coaching relationship, the teen and their adult friend are on equal footing. Assuming they don't know what's best for the teen, they help them figure out what they want from life and how to make it happen! Mostly, they listen, listen and listen some more!
If you're a teen, seek out such a person. If you're a parent, encourage your child to make, and keep, such a connection. If you are that person, be as available as you can as often as you can, and know that our world appreciates you.