Dating. Whew!

We humans are relational creatures. We want to be wanted, appreciated and loved. We want to care deeply for another special person. The truth is, the simple act of making new friends can burn an incredible amount of energy.

Dating?   
...that can be a lot of hard work!

The dance of dating brings out the best and worst in us. Our strengths and insecurities, hopes and fears all surface. Worst of all, if you begin to fall in love, perspective can get very foggy...quickly. What might help at this point is the "love" version of night vision goggles. Seeing clearly through the starry, yet sometimes cloudy and stormy night sky is always a good thing!

Confusing?
...yes, and very complicated.

Expectations make it tricky. What one person looks for in a dating relationship can be very different from what another person hopes for. You may expect to socialize, with the goal of getting to know each another along the way. They may expect something completely different. Despite the words that come out of their mouth, or via their electronic communications, there is often no way of knowing their true intentions in advance.

Who?
...the $24,000. question is always "How do I know who to date"?

Preparation is key. There is nothing wrong with writing a list of your desires and expectations in advance. In fact, I encourage it. Knowing where you're headed greatly increases your odds of getting there. Preparation is ultimately the best guarantee of clear vision and a successful dating relationship. With strategy in place there may never be a need for night vision goggles or any other tools of self-defense. Put another way, "Would you look just one way before crossing a street?" Looking from only one perspective when dating is just as risky. Knowing what you want, and being disciplined enough to screen for it is crucial.

Here are a few suggestions you may find helpful. I did.

1. Think about the personality traits, values and qualities you're looking for in a partner. Write them down. Look at the list frequently.
2. Assert yourself and quickly turn your back on suitors who don't meet your expectations.
3. Care deeply for yourself. Take great care of your own emotional, physical, financial and career needs. The best strategy for finding a great dating partner is being a great you.